While I was praying for my wonderful single sisters, asking the Lord for Godly husbands for them, a question arose in my mind: Who is a Godly husband? Is he perfect, as many women often imagine?
When many women envision a “godly man or husband,” they typically picture someone who has it all together – spiritually strong, emotionally available, financially secure, patient, loving, romantic, and always ready to lead in prayer. In short, they often imagine perfection. But is this truly what a godly husband is? More importantly, does the Bible describe a godly man as someone without flaws?
Let’s take a closer look.
The Proverbs 31 Woman and the Godly Husband
Proverbs 31 is frequently regarded as the standard for a godly wife, depicting her as hardworking, wise, kind, entrepreneurial, and devoted to her family. But what about the man mentioned in this passage? While the chapter mainly focuses on the woman, it subtly offers insights into the character of her husband.
Proverbs 31:23 says, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.”
This suggests that her husband is respected, honourable, and wise. However, the passage does not describe him as perfect. Instead, it highlights his integrity and leadership.
A Godly Husband Is Not a Perfect Man
One of the most prevalent misconceptions about godly men is the belief that they must be flawless. The truth is, there is no perfect man—except for Jesus Christ. Every godly husband will have weaknesses, struggles, and shortcomings. What distinguishes him, however, is his desire to seek God, love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), and grow in faith and character.
A godly husband
- Loves sacrificially – He prioritises his wife’s needs above his own, just as Christ laid down His life for the church.
- Seeks God daily – He is not perfect, but he actively pursues God through prayer, study, and obedience.
- Leads with humility – He acknowledges his imperfections and relies on God’s grace to guide his family.
- Is teachable – Instead of being arrogant, he is open to learning, apologizing, and improving.
- Supports his wife’s growth – He encourages her in her dreams, faith, and personal development.
Why the Idea of Perfection Can Be Dangerous
Expecting a man or husband to be perfect sets both partners up for disappointment. If a woman believes a godly husband is someone who never makes mistakes, never struggles, and always gets things right, she will feel frustrated when reality doesn’t match her expectations. Similarly, a man who thinks he must meet an impossible standard may feel discouraged and inadequate.
Instead of striving for perfection, couples should focus on grace, growth, and partnership. A godly marriage is built not on perfection but on commitment, forgiveness, and a shared pursuit of Christ.
In Conclusion
So, who is the true godly husband? A godly man or husband is not a flawless man; he is a faithful man. He acknowledges his weaknesses, seeks God’s strength, and loves his wife with the grace and patience of Christ.
So ladies, instead of looking for a perfect husband, pray for a man who is willing to grow, lead, and love as God intended. And for men, don’t aim for perfection or put up a façade. Be yourself, love God, seek Him, and allow Him to work in you. Embrace the opportunity to make mistakes and learn as the Lord guides you. Be faithful, humble, and God-centred. Don’t put on false appearances to impress a potential partner; be genuine. As someone preparing to be the head of a household, allow God to mould and shape you, because as the ‘priest’ in your home, you will lead your family to love God.
That is the true measure of a godly husband!
So, while praying for a ‘godly’ husband, remember that we all have flaws. Be prepared as a single woman when you marry, to come together with your husband, learn from each other, and understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses. In doing so, you will achieve the results you both desire.
Written by Lydia Speaks
